'Cause We're Going To High School, Rah-Rah-Rah!

I've decided to collect random quotes I hear in my classroom or in the halls at the high school where I teach. Keep checking for I will be adding more as the year's progress.

"There's SO many penises around the school...I see at least one a day."

"And the thing in my thingy is poking me here and it hurts."

"You made my zipper scratch my tummy."

"I'm not a good photographer, I just want to graduate."

"I'm not gay...just a cheerleader."

"If you lick someone's elbow without them noticing, they won't feel it."

"How do you guys get your feet to not smell like funk."

"If I was good at Photoshop, and could make you look skinnier, I would.

"I have growing pains and I'm suppose to be done growing."

"You know, I just realized I'm wearing the same pants as I did yesterday."

"They're talking...it's language for them...it's burping language."

"Awwww...I wish my name was Philip."

"It's better to get a straight 'F' than a randomized 'C'."

I've had the same cell phone since I dropped it in the toilet."

"He used to be rich...then he married my mom."

"I hate when people chew with their mouth open and talk with their mouth open."

"Look at my brain. It's tiny."

" So if I'm sleeping, I can keep one eye open and the other closed."

"Where are you going?" "Nowhere. I thought we were going somewhere."

"I only tell on people I don't like."

"Dude, I miss the smell of this room."

"I thought I had a worm in my leg." Why? "Because everybody told me I had one. I had my mom take me to the doctor and he asked me if I was under the influence of anything."

"I think I figured out something but I don't know how it works."

"My pants are in the ceiling....a large piece of my pants."

"I wanted to get chocolate but I got nuts."

"Keep walkin' little miss mini-skirt with the ass hangin' out.

"Look what I never told you."

"Wouldn't you rather have dirty hair than a dirty thirty-dollar sweater?"

“I’m a mutt. A. and I are both mutts because we’re not white.”

“If I have to cry, I’ll walk into the boy’s bathroom and cry like a man.”

"You mean he told you that the reason he wanted to go out with you was because you had a big rack?"

"My throat is all stupid."

"It all started because I lit J. on fire."